Kicked By An Angel

"Kicked By An Angel" is a moving blog, subtitled "My thoughts on life as I struggle through breast cancer"

Frances bade 2008 "Good riddance!" with the following lessons:

I am not the same person I was before my cancer diagnosis. I can’t say that I am better or worse — just different. I look at life, my children, daily tasks from a different skew. I have a better appreciation regarding the passing of time and a renewed respect to really try to live in the moment. I can’t say that I now live every day as if it were my last but I do think about and cherish the small intricate details more often; especially regarding my children.

So on this snowy New Years Eve at the end of 2008 here is a list of things that I learned:

1. Pettiness and Drama have no place in my life and I learned to cut out all the people who perpetuate those energy-sapping qualities.

2. I have absolutely no control over many things in life –including many aspects of my own health as well as the actions of others.

3. Most people are generally well-meaning, well-intentioned, and kind.

4. Everyone, including myself, feels jealous and resentful at times. We must have been given those emotions for a reason. I think it’s OK to feel them as long as we admit it instead of feeling ashamed. Maybe jealousy is there to spur us into action.

5. People can change, and they do, all the time.

6. Relationships enter our lives when we need them and stay while we continue to learn and grow. When we no longer learn and grow then that relationship passes;not to be mourned, but to be celebrated, and remembered fondly.

7. Forgiveness is the most important gift we have to give each other; because nobody is perfect (not even my mother!)

See the rest of the post, and many more, at Kicked by an Angel.

"Snow Days"

Snow days were so much fun when I was a kid. They were so different, so free...truly days off.

There were no snow days in college, and I declined to embrace one that came my way when a Nor'easter flooded New York Harbor. In Boston, the 35" April Fool's day blizzard kept me home, and that was fun.

Now with three kids, snow days are less irregular, but require more creativity, especially when the snow turns to rain.

How many days do we get that are the snowdays of our youth or of our untethered adulthood? Can I enjoy snowdays when they are less free, require more logistcs, and require shovelling three times a day?

Yes I can, and I will, find a way to live every single day fully. That's the challenge and opportunity of snow days.

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184 days to the PMC. 2009 miles: 20.
"200 Days to the PMC" Blog

"Different Muscles"

Just back from a weekend in south Texas with 14 classmates/fraternity brothers. I rented a "beach bike," complete with a wide saddle and honkin' big handlebars. I got outside on a bike for the first time in 2009 -- probably got about 3 hours of riding time. The ride required different muscles, from my feet up to my hands and shoulders. Working my legs was familiar, everything else was different. I was upright, and exposed to the wind, which I caught well.

The weekend was similar. Spending the weekend with 14 good friends I last saw together in 1986 also required different muscles, most specifically a nimble mind and quick, acerbic tongue. Great fun, and wonderful memories.

Coming home requires reactivation of different muscles, as does donating platelets to those who battle cancer with very, very different muscles, perseverance, and talents.

"Reminders"

Although he keeps a journal, a friend was befuddled by my plan to blog through the PMC season. And I didn't have a good answer at the time.

Today I concluded that blogging is a reminder to remember why I'm committed to contributing to the campaign to eradicate cancer.

Remembering family and friends who have been touched by cancer. Remembering those we have lost, and reminding myself that the $35 million that riders raised last year, which - without question- has advanced treatments that have saved and extended lives into 2009. Furthermore, I'm committed because the PMC delivers more to the Dana Farber than any other athletic fundraiser, and it does so at 100% efficiency, which is unprecedented. These charts tell the compelling story another way: Top Fundraising Events in the USA and Massachusetts.

Pan-Massachusetts Challenge Gives $35 Million to the Jimmy Fund
PMC Founder Billy Starr on the success of the event

Please click the PMC logo
to donate to support the research at
the Dana Farber Cancer Institute.

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190 days to the PMC (0 miles ridden this year)

"Helping"

(Written Monday, January 19, 2009)

I want this to be the most productive PMC season I've had, and I know that I don't have all the answers and skills I'll need to contribute more. So, I've asked for help.- probably the first of many times I'll do so.

My first request was to Paul Gillin, who knows social media cold. I asked for guidance and he gave it quickly, thoroughly, and enthusiastically. I'll implement everything I possibly can from his list of recommendations. It was easy for him to do - it was "frictionless."

When people ask me to do things I do often and easily, it's easy to say yes. If more people, and organizations, asked more people to help in ways that are easy for them, there'd be more volunteers.

What do you do well? I'd like to be able to ask you for help that would be ask for you to provide.

193 days to the PMC
(January 19, 2009)

"Inauguration Day"

Inauguration: a) Formal induction into office. b) A formal beginning or introduction.

Today was the formal beginning of the Obama administration but, clearly, the work already had started on or even before Election Day. Optimism is high.

The Pan-Mass Challenge starts, for many, the day they register, but in reality, the work on the 2009 PMC started before the 2008 PMC. Probably started in earnest two years ago, but we can't deny the impact of the 29 PMCs that have been staged.

All this makes the PMC most productive athletic fundraisers in the world. Last year, we riders-- more than 5000 cyclists -- raised $35 million to fund research and patient care at the Dana Farber Cancer Institute in Boston. 100% of funds raised by riders went directly to the Dana Farber through the Jimmy Fund. Riders pay registration fees while sponsors donate goods, services, and funds generously to cover the expenses of all the events. Your support pays for nothing but the good work going on over there.

Please donate what you can, and pass this along to anyone else who may be interested in supporting the great work at Dana Farber through our ride in the PMC.

192 days to the Pan-Mass Challenge.

"It's Cold!"

It's COLD here in New England! So cold, our kids' ski program didn't ski this morning. So cold that people abandoned their plans!

I adjusted my plan, and my expectations, and still got outside this morning, enjoying the clear blue skies and the curling wisps of fireplace smoke that then tumbled over the fields and into the woods. This afternoon, I bundled up and skied, and it was fantastic and delightful. I didn't even feel "cold" because I was dressed in everything that keeps me warm.

Life is cold! You just have to bundle up and go. Cold as it may be, that's no reason to miss out on the beauty, fun, and nuances of each day.

196 days to the PMC.

"Challenges"

The Pan Mass Challenge is a set of big challenges. And "challenge" is in the name, so "hard" is OK!

It's a bit of a challenge to register your first year. It's a big challenge to say "I'll commit to raising thousands of dollars, or pay it myself!" It's a big challenge to raise that much money. It's a challenge to find the time to train enough to be able to be confident heading toward the start of the longest ride you may ever have done. It's a challenge to stay safe, and courteous, through dozens of towns that accommodate the ride.

Those all semm like challenges, until I think of the challenge of battling cancer.

Then it seems pretty reasonable, and well within my grasp.

197 days to go.

Faith and the PMC

Three friends of mine are contemplating registering for the 2009 PMC. They are all (smartly) evaluating, thinking, assessing, and considering how difficult it will be to meet the fundraising minimum for 2009.

I have faith, and that faith is a cornerstone of my participation in the Pan Mass Challenge, and the experiences that surround it.

I have faith that my friends and family, and their friends and families, will come together to support the research the doctors and scientists conduct at the Dana Farber Cancer Institute because they too have faith that cures for cancers will be found, and that their contributions matter.

I have faith that we are getting closer by the mile, and that the kid in the picture will live to by 77.

197 days to the PMC.

Honoring the Fallen

Firefighters all over New England, along with family and friends, are flocking to a church in Quincy to honor a firefighter who died on the job on Friday. I saw a caravan of MBTA busses filled with uniformed firefighters move through the center of my small town, coming from another, as it moved deliberately to worship.

I ride the PMC to honor the fallen, and the fighters who battle cancer. They are my family and friends, and the loved ones of my family and friends, and their family and friends. My Team Avanti teammates and I have honored hundreds of people -- and thought about them before during, and after the ride -- for the last three years.

To see some of the people we have ridden to honor, please click ON the picture below to see it full-size with captions. To share a the name and story of a friend or loved one we can honor in 2009, please comment or send an email to Team Avanti.

198 days to the PMC.

"Look for the good"

"Look for the good all about you, and you will become happier." Charles Shipley (paraphrased)

Pretty good advice...from hospital wall.

If I look for the good, doesn't that suggest I expect to find it? When I do, that confirms my "hypothesis," or fulfills my "prophesy."

I'm going out to live the day, looking for good. I'll let you know what I find.

199 days.

200 Days to the 30th Pan Mass Challenge

The 30th ride of the Pan Mass Challenge starts 200 days from now. I'm committing to making these 200 days count. How much can I contribute? How much can I give, and share? What is possible? Who will join, support, encourage, and contribute?

I'm going to look for the inspiring stories among the friends I know and the friends I meet. And their friends, and especially those who have been forced to face the challenge, and opportunity(?), of cancer.

Team Avanti is my starting point for this year. The experience of riding with Rob Rodgers, Matt Schulman, Rob Mosher, and Joe Parrish last year was tremendous, and enhanced by the wonderful people who I met through them. As the snow falls, I eagerly await the first ride of spring in the fresh morning air with "the boys."