Monday, March 02, 2009

"Attachments"

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My Avanti teammate Rob shared a wonderful essay on the power of "attachments" over us. To paraphrase, "we are attached to something, or someone, if we believe it is the source of our joy, pleasure, or happiness. Only by enjoying it without clinging to it can we be happy."

That's really, really hard.

Can I love my wife, children, family and friends and enjoy them thoroughly without clinging to them, without having expectations about my relationships and the "outcomes" of our interactions?

That's really, really hard.

But by thinking about it, considering it, and setting the intention to resisting "clinging," it becomes easier and easier to do so.

Friends were talking about attachments, and most identified spouses, children as the attachments they cling to most fiercely. They experience, or expect to experience, tremendous pain at the thought of the death of a nuclear family member. And yet, I am a son whose parents both have died, and whose friends have died, and yet I still can and do live joyfully. I know several parents whose children have died so very prematurely, and they are joyful. That's not to say their hearts aren't broken. I can hear my friend John's voice crying "My heart is broke!" over and over after his son died. And yet, he is resilient and lives and loves.

And so can I, and so can you.

John

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